A missionary was laying on her bed in the middle of the night, praying through her sobs, “I have done everything I can, I have fought for so long. Why haven’t you helped me?”
For three years she had been struggling with an eating disorder. But she had never used the words “eating disorder”.
Laying on her bed that night, she thought she was losing a three-year battle for self-control. She felt irreparably broken and unworthy, drowning in shame.
The formula wasn’t working. She had prayed and fasted for years. She was serving a mission. She had been obedient her whole life, and nothing.
No help, no refuge, no improvement, no peace. She was done.
After she calmed down from her anger and grief, she felt an impression to open “Our Search for Happiness.”
She opened up to the account of the Prophet Joseph’s life directly following his vision in the Sacred Grove and she read these words:
“For more than three years, and without the benefit of further instruction from God, Joseph was tried and tempted for his testimony.”
THREE YEARS. For 3 years after Joseph’s vision, God was silent. And Joseph probably felt so, so alone. Maybe he felt broken, unworthy, maybe even shameful at times.
But he was never alone.
That night, staring up at a dark ceiling, she felt arms wrap around her.
She was not abandoned.
She was loved.
When she got back from her mission, she was diagnosed with binge-eating disorder.
She said that of all the critical and important resources she has used in recovery—therapists, books, a dietitian, group support, etc—the most empowering resource has been pure, unconditional love. Heavenly Father’s unconditional love for her, and HER unconditional love for herself.
Remember, even in silence, “God is real. He lives. He loves you. He knows you. He understands you. He knows the silent pleadings of your heart. He has not abandoned you. He will not forsake you.” (Elder Uchtdorf)
And just like Joseph, just like this sweet missionary, He “has a work for [you] to do.” (JSH 1:33)
He has not given up on you;
So don’t give up on yourself.
Adapted with permission from a firsthand account by Christine Parks
God is real. He lives. He love you. He knows you. He understands you. He knows the silent pleadings of your heart. He has not abandoned you. He will not forsake you.DIETER UCHTDORF
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One thought on ““He has not abandoned you. He will not forsake you.””
Last Sunday a sister developed her talk around a quote from one of her coaches, “Why are you afraid of being uncomfortable?” Such a great question! I then had an experience where I had to have a difficult conversation with my sister. We had already communicated a little but there were still misunderstandings. As I sat in my discomfort knowing this wasn’t cleared I realized I was afraid of feeling uncomfortable because I thought that discomfort meant the Spirit wasn’t with me, the Lord had left me alone. I decided to just ask the Lord, “Lord, I’m feeling very uncomfortable about this situation and what else I might need to say. I want to have charity, but I’m not feeling it. I just need to know if you are with me and are helping me.” I felt a soft gentle assurance that communicated, Yes I am. I still felt the discomfort, but my heart took courage knowing He was with me.